Tuesday, February 23, 2010

And THEN I realized there are no pictures anymore. Man, I stink at posting pictures. So...

There were happy moments this week.

there's too many things I got running around my head.

Because when I can't compose real-deal thoughts, I just compose sort-of thoughts in list form. So this list is called "ten things I'd like to write about in this blog post." Enjoy.

1. Tonight, when asked about the state of my fragile little heart, I used the words "emotionally emotional." WHOA! AWESOME WORD USAGE THERE, YOU LITTLE JOURNALISM MAJOR YOU! And, possibly even more disheartening than the fact that I chose "emotionally emotional" or that I am, in fact, truly emotionally emotional, I really have no reason to be in such a state, and thus I don't know how to get out. I hope it's a freak accident and that it will be better tomorrow. Emotionally emotional is one of my least favorite emotions to experience, truthfully.
2. Alright, alright, I sort of maybe have an inkling about all of the emotions. Let me just tell you, Internet readers who may or may not exist- last week was stressful with a capital STRESSFUL and sure, I get that I am a big baby, and I won't even try to deny it. I even get that so many people go through things that are so incredibly trying, and that my week pales in comparison like a piece of white bread next to rye, and heck, I've been that person who would treat last week's trials like several truly lovely trips to the ice cream parlor, but man, it sucked (for me). Wanna know? Here it is:

  • 3 homework sections due for math, BAM BAM BAM.
  • 3 quizzes due for math (in the same bam fashion)
  • 4 papers
  • 12 poems
  • 2 short stories (though I had sort-of written those ahead of time)
  • an interview failure
  • 5 2 days of working out (sigh)
  • about 10 hours of sleep
  • 3 birthday parties (that I PLANNED)
  • a dance recital
  • a 6 hour hospital visit with my best friend, and then,
  • a 16 hour fight with said friend (I know. I know. I'm a really terrible person. I know. Please don't tell me that in a comment.)
  • some emotional emotions about some one other emotionally trying situation
  • and heck, watching The Notebook alone with a couple (this is the one you feel sorry for me about, right?).
  • Oh, and VALENTINE'S DAY. 
  • and, I got a new blister, and
  • a stomach virus!
So yeah. I have a sneaking suspicion that I have blocked out some other parts that are just too heartbreaking to remember (like when I told my interviewer that I had "trouble focusing" and would need a partner to help me "stay on task.") 
(oh wait, looks like I remember that one.) 
(I'd had about three and a half hours of sleep.)
(She didn't know that.)
(I digress.)
Enough said? Cause I could do a blog post about every single one of those things, although I might combine the math homework and quizzes, but only for your sake. We did Venn diagrams this week- trust me, a whole blog post on those suckers.

3. Something that makes me feel better when I'm so emotionally emotional is MUSIC and also BUYING THINGS, and so that's why iTunes is my crack cocaine in times like this, except I keep trying songs that are sure to be awesome, but they're not. That's not helpful, music industry. Don't you want to save me from my landslide of emotion?
4. Can you return songs to the iTunes store? You can't, huh? Well, crap. I guess that was in the fine print.
5. Oh, so I forgot to say that I think maybe my emotions are a result of being so emotionally tried last week that they just haven't returned to normal. Also, I took my best friend to the hospital and watched her cry in pain for like six hours and it broke my heart. I was scared out of my mind, but I was trying to be comforting- you know, a voice of reason and a place of solace and all that jazz, because HELLO, SHE'S IN PAIN, NOT YOU, SISTA, and so I murmured things like, "It's okay," and "You don't have to be brave," and "Excuse me while I punch that nurse so hard she needs pain meds so that while she's retrieving hers she can you some, too," and that was hard. But shhh. Don't tell her that I didn't know what I was talking about and that when I talked to the nurses, I was really nice because I've never punched anyone. So, yeah, have you ever heard anyone say that they would go through pain for someone they love because it hurts them more to watch it? I get it now, I totally do.
6. I'm attending this pretty good church now and it is indescribable. Really. It challenges me and speaks to me and my gosh, the Lord meets me there EVERY SINGLE TIME. I get giddy at the thought of attending that wonderful place.
7. And in all of this week, as I tried to keep my head above water, my Lord showed up. So don't worry about me!
8. Even though I really sucked at being a good and kind person. I really did. I was whiny and I worried about myself a lot and I just all around SUCKED. And I'm trying to move past it, but all I can think about is how much better last week might have been if I would have given it to the Lord instead of trying to do it myself.
9. I get to babysit on Thursday night. Nothing warms my heart more than small human beings who may or may not excrete more than one bodily substance and expect me to handle them. Seriously, babies just make me happy.
10/11. I signed up for two awesome things today: Helium.com and Booksneeze.com. The first is a ridiculously awesome site that pays you (!) if your written article (!) gets chosen to be published! I've only submitted one thing, and it was an essay, but I have high hopes. The second thing is even more splendid than that, even though I realize it's hard to fathom:  Booksneeze sends approved bloggers (me!) free (FREE.) books to read and review and then, you get to keep the books. Check it out, yo.

See, told you that I was thinking about a lot of things. I mean, that's not even the half of it, but I don't really think you care about my dry scalp, now do you? No? Alright, note taken.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Foot long KitKat love

I was trying to think about something clever to post about, but alas, my day-to-day life is running short on cleverness (and, incidentally, high on stress and bad jokes and book reports and, as I'm discovering right now, new songs in iTunes that skip, but that's besides the point), so I'll post about what ever other blogger out there is posting about today: Valentine's Day (clearly I'm running high on individuality, aye?)

I've been reading blogs all day because, well, that's my favorite way to waste time and put off book reports, and you'd think that these February 15th posts might run the gamet, but, no, they do not, Internet. N early everyone's central theme revolves around, or at least devotes a healthy paragraph, to Valentine's Day, and who am I to change a trend such as that? I also noticed that these Valentine's Day posts aren't all over the board; no, they fall into two categories, ones that I bet you can already guess. The first is the lovely realm that involves love and flowers and batty eyelashes and poems and all of those wonderful things you secretly love but pretend to hate if you're in the second category, which involves going about your normal Sunday routine, pretending to ignore the batty eyelashes because, well, none are being batted your way and you know what? YOU DON'T CARE. (Except you do care, a tiny bit, and maybe a lot, depending on your level of bitterness.) So I fall into the second category, and a very lonely day it was indeed, although it would have been a lonely Sunday regardless, but the chocolate-covered love, or lack thereof, in my life was somewhat, well, depressing.

But, do not worry about me, lovely reader! I did what every lonely girl on Valentine's Day does: I ate some candy. A foot long KitKat bar, actually, and I don't feel one bit guilty. Then  I went to the gym and worked the entire thing (okay, like a fourth) off, and then I constructed a larger-than-life Valentine's Day card for my best friend, who happened to be out on a stunning, marvelous date where she batted her eyelashes with best of 'em. I was proud. It sounds nice, yes? You wish you'd been here? Well, dear, I do, too. It was lonely.

And that's my Valentine's Day sob story, and now I'm done. I hope your Valentine's Day was less lonely, but equally productive (that's right! Productivity! When I got out of bed this morning and felt the condition of my thighs, I realized, "Go, you! You and your productive V-Day workout! Ha, Valentine's Day! I did something with you!) And there's more in store! The group of friends that claims me has included me in the Valentine's Day exchange, and due to people having actual Valentiney plans yesterday (we're not all lonely), we're exchanging gifts tonight. How I ldo ook forward to the heart-shaped box of candy I hope is in store for me, on account of I ate all of my KitKat bar.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Happy February, Internet. Speaking of, can anyone believe it's actually February? It seems like just a month and a week ago it was Christmas...I kid, I kid. Seriously, though, it does seem like I moved to college a few weeks ago, when it's really been SIX MONTHS, which is TWENTY-FIVE(ish) WEEKS, and that means ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY FIVE DAYS. If I was better at math, I'd break that down further for you, but basically, that's a good amount of time when we're talking time that you've spent waking yourself up for class and doing your own laundry and not having the means to cook anything, save Ramen noodles, which got old by day 27. Holy mother of pearl and cracker sandwich. All this to say, Happy February. I hope the first month of 2010 treated you better than nicely.

Perhaps because it's that time of the month (tmi? Drats. I'm sorry, but it's necessary information), or perhaps because the new of everything is wearing off, or perhaps because this semester is hurtling toward me four weeks strong, with five weeks until that beautiful creation known as Spring Break, or maybe because I'm just me, but I've been missing my family. Not home, per see, or Prattville, most definitely, just my family. As a matter of fact, I haven't seen them in 2010 yet. How's that for crazy? But it isn't this overwhelming homesickness; I'm not crying or heartbroken. It's just in the back of my mind. But, even so, I'm heading home tomorrow for a 36-hour visit.

All that to say that today, the last day in this long stretch of familylessness, has been sort of blah. Yesterday left me emotionally exhausted, I'll tell you that, and so I spent the night in my best friend's room. And this morning, when I woke up, I was certain that I was experiencing the worst cramps anyone ever has, in the history of womanhood. I looked outside and saw that, joy to the world, it was raining goldfish and hamsters outside. Oy vey. And all my emotions came crashing down and I said, "No, thank you, life. I will not be partaking today." And so, quite rashly, I picked up my computer (how handy that I had left him right beside the bed for a situation such as this one) and typed out a short, frank, I'm-still-asleep email to my prof that went along the lines of Thought you'd see my beautiful face today? Wrong! False! The answer is not A, suckaaaa! But have a good day, and do enough creative writing for the both of us, alright? And so I went back to sleep, and when I woke up, I Facebooked, and then I came downstairs with all of these intentions and what I did was watch TLC for three hours because I can and I like it. But, honestly, I don't want today to be totally useless.

So here's my Productivity Plan for Thursday:

  • clean. clean the kitchen, the bathroom, my room, the living room. This includes dusting, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, and changing my sheets.
  • create a bucket list. but call it something besides a bucket list, and incorporate a ffew cleverly motivating quotes.
  • get dressed.
  • brush my teeth.
  • do math homework.
  • do journalism homework.
  • be a nice friend.
  • give God the glory.
Alright, I believe in me, and I know you do, too! Hey, go create your own Thursday List of Productivity! And make good decisions, Internet! Stay hydrated!

Watch me go brush my teeth!