And He does.
Last night, we studied a passage in which Jesus asked a couple of blind men a startling question:
"What do you want me to do for you?"
Wait...Jesus asks me that same question? The God of the Milky Way and Africa and white chocolate mochas asks me, "What do you want me to do for you?" This is what the preacher man tried to convince me. In years, months, days past, I would have responded with something church-y. "Lord, I just want a deeper relationship with you..." Sure I do. But that's less of His doing and more of mine, I'd say. And so, with the urging of the most wonderful pastor in the world, I was candid and true and fierce in my expectations of the Lord, and as I prayed to Him, I told Him exactly what I wanted Him to do for me, and it came out so sudden and raw that I was shocked:
Lord, I want a husband. I want a man who loves You, and who seeks You. I want a man who will love me and see the best in me and remind me when I can't see it, and I want to have the ability to give this gift to him as well. I want someone who has goals and aspirations and can make me laugh. I don't care who it is or where he's from, as long as he's who You want me to have. I'm waiting for him, Lord, but please give him to me. I don't want to be lonely forever. I want the soul mate you've got waiting for me, and I believe he's there and that You will provide him.
Oh, and I want a deeper relationship with You. But really...a husband? Those were the words that flowed. I'm eighteen years old and quite happily single, with only a string of flings to my name- not a serious relationship in sight, and I'm requesting a husband? I didn't even know.
Regardless, I have faith, faith as tiny as a mustard seed that can and does and will move mountains, and that's all I need, because He has promsied to do the rest. And so I will let Him.
Today, my e-mail devotion spoke of God the Performer, and well, He's telling me this: "Let go, and Let God." Okay.
God is a performer! Think about that. He performs things on your behalf. Say this a dozen times, "Father, I thank You that You perform on my behalf. I thank You that You perform on my behalf!"
"Son of David, do not pass me by."
I have faith that He won't.