And I don't know what to do with that.
I like the go. I like having plans and things to do and I like getting them done, being proud of myself, and tackling the next list. I just do. But I have to say, these last few days- minus the stir-craziness- have been pretty sweet.
Let me put it into bullets for you:
- I bought two new Joe Purdy songs on iTunes. That's enough to make my day.
- I've been cleaning; nothing major, just folding laundry here and loading the dishwasher there. And mostly I've been doing it because I'm bored and I have nothing to do and I'm missing some sort of productivity. (I might be the only person who can turn cleaning up someone else's mess into selfishness.) But regardless, while we were going around the dinner table talking about things that made us happy today, Lori said the fact that I'd done these things- because she wouldn't have to. And really, unloading the dishwasher takes me three minutes in between Gilmore Girls and Full House. Why wouldn't I, when she's so busy? It made me happy to make her happy.
- I exercised three days in a row! And I've been sticking to this don't-eat-five-cookies-a-day thing and maybe just maybe I'm knocking out that lose-10-pounds goal. Or at least on my way to losing one. That would be good, too.
- I get to see my best friend on Wednesday instead of Thursday and Gracie comes home on Friday! My little heart jumps for joy.
- Tonight, Taylor said to me, "Let's go look at the stars." And a year ago, because I was stressed and busy and oblivious to how much of my heart that little boy owns, I would probably have brushed him off. I would have taken a rain check or pointed out that it was still daylight out. But because I know how it feels to want to hold him in my arms and be hours away from him, to want to watch as he runs the bases and learns to read, but to instead hear his little voice on the phone telling me about it because I couldn't make it- because of that, I took his warm, sticky little hand and let him lead me to the trampoline. We climbed up and we looked at the stars and when we couldn't find them, we looked at the clouds. We talked about the man on the moon.
And for a moment, there with him and his imagination and his faith that is stronger than mine, I believed.