Saturday, November 22, 2008


I can't make her hate him. I guess I don't, because he gave her what she needed, which was closure for her and the baby. But when I was talking to my best friend about first-love-who-did-bad-things with whom she's recently had contact with, I started thinking about unconditional love again. Is it? Well, she won't tell me, and I know it's none of my business until she does, and anyway that's not really what I'm concerned with. I called him kudzu, because it seems like we can't get rid of him... I think he's gone and somehow he creeps back into her life. I'm scared he'll hurt her, because I'm scared her heart will always be vulnerable to him. I guess that's my unconditional love point.

Anyway, i was thinking about my own case of kudzu, who I've run into recently. It's the same thing; I think he's gone, and I turn around and he is there. Literally, actually. Right behind me on the bleachers. Tonight, after I left my best friend's house and her major case of denial to me, I took a drive through an old very familar neighborhood, and I noticed his light was on. For a minute, I looked down that path I've been on time and time again, and I forced myself to back up, or actully, to keep moving forward. Because kudzu isn't pretty. It's annoying. And it serves no good purpose. And I'm looking for a rose bush, dang it- even though it'll have thorns, it will be beautiful anyway. But...can we ever get away from those ghosts? Will we always be these weak little in-love girls when it comes to these guys? or will we kill the kudzu? I'm hoping fo the latter, but he found his way into my pre-cal class next semester and what's-his-face texted her, so...i don't know.

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