Sunday, November 30, 2008

My boyfriend.

I'm so sick of the question, "Do you have a boyfriend?" No. I don't. Which should be enough, but then inevitably, it comes: "Why?" Here's why.

First and foremost, I am seventeen years old. I am in high school! Now, I know that people will say, "well, I know some high school sweethearts..." Right. You know maybe one or two couples. But really, in the grand scheme of things, most people meet their spoouses in college or even later. And I know that some high school couples date for years- and I have seen the damage it can do to their lives. They get obsessed and lose their friends, time with their families, and the high school experience. Um, no thanks. There will be plenty of that when I'm, you know, MARRIED. I'm not saying that all high school couples are like this, but a lot are, and I'm not willing to do that.

Another thing is that I've always said that I won't date anyone until I meet someone I really want to date. Sounds simple, right? Not really. My problem is that I start talking to a guy, and halfway through, I'm like, "" And so I stop. Maybe it's fear of commitment, I don't know. And I want to know the person I'm going to date befopre I start dating them. I don't want to find out stuff I should have known before after. I want to know that a relationship has possibility of being long-term and mattering, not just a three-week fling. So far, I've only felt that way once, and it didn't work out, anyway.

I'm not going to date someone just to "have a boyfriend." I like to think that if I just wanted a boyfriend, I could probably get one, but the point of dating is to find someone you want to spend your life with (eventually), not to have someone to accompany you to parties or make out with. The what my girlfriends and male friends with benefits are for. Kidding. Kind of. Anyway, if every girl felt that way, I guarantee you that like 70% of high school relationships wouldn't exist anymore.

Basically, I'm still working on who the heck I am- I'm having fun and being a kid and not worrying about crap that I'm going to have to worry about for the rest of my life. And I'm getting ready to move away- what's the point in starting something that I'd have to say goodbye to? It's just not worth it to me right now. I know that one day I'll meet the guy that takes my breath away and laughs at my jokes about kleenex, and feels exactly the same way about me that I do about him. I know that God has that someone waiting for me. It will probably take me a few mishaps to get there, but whether it's going to be in 5 years or 20, I'm waiting, and I'm not settling. Duh. I don't settle.

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