i don't get it. i don't understand

firstly, i don't understand what i did. i mean, why he sees me as the embarrassment. why he won't talk to me. why he won't even try. maybe if he tried... but he doesn't. he ignores me. he's the only parent i have left and he doesn't even care. he perfectly content with his other children.

secondly, i don't understand why i care. i mean, it's like i went for awhile without caring at all... why now? why do i care now? i do, though. it's bothering me. because i just don't understand what I did.

I mean, I didn't go to jail. I didn't even get a B...