Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Forgetting about forgetting about it.

I decided that I might as well just forget about forgetting about it and go into it knowing exactly what is going to happen and how i'm going to feel and that nothing good is going to come from it.

Bascially, it's like those cookies Mrs. Carmichael makes. They taste sooooooooo good at the time that i eat waaaaaaay too many and then my stomach hurts for a long time afterwards. I miss lunch and then I eat too much dinner and my stomach hurts again and whatnot. It's a cycle. And that's what this is like.

Besides, I didn't choose him, and so, I can't have him. I don't know if I will want him or not. But I sure am scared with a capital s. Because I'm going to be thisclose to him everyday. And how is that gonna work? How am I not gonna stare and have no idea what's going on in that class and not be able to breathe when I'm in the same room with him? It's inevitable. It's painful and I can't keep it from happening. I'm basically setting myself up for heartache. Again.

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